Until you have a wedding venue nothing else matters. Getting your venue booked is the foundations of your wedding - the building blocks upon which this whole stressful day can precariously rest.
I live in Australia and I'm planning my wedding in Scotland via the internet so I cyber visited every venue from Orkney to Gretna. I could tell you everything from average price per head, who has the best drinks packages, best menu's, cosiest bars for pre wedding drinks - for every venue all over Scotland.
It was for this reason I thought I was prepared and had made an informed decision when I decided upon Oran Mor in Glasgow for my big day.
It seemed relaxed, casual and had a youthful vibe that I loved. It is an old church that has been converted to a funky bar and function room.
Oran Mor
I was on the brink of booking the entire wedding over the internet and just trusting that this was the perfect venue. But something held me back. I decided to wait until I went back to Scotland for a family wedding in June. I called up Oran Mor, made an appointment to come see it and that was that. No back up venues to look at, no alternative escape routes. I was in Scotland for 4 weeks and arranged only one venue to look around. Big mistake.
On the day we went there were two carloads - one containing me, my future husband Mr B, my amazing Maid of Honour and her boyfriend who is also one of our groomsmen and the other containing my mum, dad, aunt and grandmother. So the whole family was there to witness this catastrophic day.
It was cold and wet - rain was pelting down on us as we walked from the carpark to the venue. I felt a feeling of unease in my stomach but didn't say anything in case this turned out to be the perfect place and I had slated it before I even seen inside. So I ignored the rain, ignored the 'Heineken' umbrellas perched outside the front door and the rickety steps leading up to it and went inside.
My heart fell straight away.
It was the perfect place....if you wanted a burger and a pint for lunch. It wasn't a wedding venue. There were people in the pub on the ground floor drinking, eating, being a bit rowdy and listening to music. We stood in the cold entrance hall waiting on the events coordinator to show us around and I eyed my surroundings. There were murals all over the walls but the paint was chipping and it just looked a bit cheap and like a community project. There were flyers all over the place advertising concerts and STD clinics. I had visions of my friends and family huddled here on a cold winters day and seeing all this and wondering where I had taken them to.
Eventually the wedding coordinator appeared. She was very nice and friendly and took us up in groups of 3 - the elevator was too small to accommodate anymore people. When I got upstairs and walked into the venue I felt...underwhelmed. It had the same air as the ground floor drinking pit. Stale air, the scent of spilled pints and chipped paint on the walls.
I had to keep reminding myself this was a place asking for upwards of £70 per head for weddings in here. I asked a few questions to be polite and show a mock interest but straight away my mum saw and my maid of honour saw the disappointment in my face and knew it wasn't it.
I made some excuse about having other venues to look around and bowed out as quickly as I could but as we were taken down in the elevator again I knew, my family knew and I think even the woman knew - there was no way I'd be saying 'I Do' in this place.
Perfection
I found myself sitting in the car 15 minutes later feeling deflated. My hair was curling up from the rain, the car was silent with 4 people not quite knowing what to say or do now and I felt lost. I had 3 weeks left in this country to organise my wedding venue and here it was all falling apart.
It is at times like this when you remember why you have amazing friends and why you pick your amazing friends to be in your bridal party. My ever resourceful and organised maid of honour had - whilst my head was fogged with the stench of stale beer in the last venue - called another venue I had loved but dismissed in the search for the perfect venue and made an appointment there for later that afternoon.
I set up a makeshift office in the front seat of the car with my iPhone, a pen and one of the STD flyers from the last place. I looked up all the other venues I'd liked and attempted to get appointments. There was one not too far away and in the desperation to see something - anything - to get me feeling a bit more hopeful I told her I'd be there in half an hour and we quickly dodged our way through traffic to the other end of Glasgow to see it. And it was lovely. It was in a nice area, had a lovely sweeping drive leading up to it. It was like a castle shrunk down. Very intimate and cosy but still large enough to hold all the guests. The prices were right as well and there was a lovely little church across the street we could have the ceremony in. I was feeling much happier. I liked it a lot. But it wasn't the one.
We had one appointment left of the day. One more chance to get it right for today. 'Even if it's not this one..' I reasoned in my head on the way there 'we've seen 3 venues today so we'll be able to see more before we go home'. I was feeling much better.
When we pulled off the motorway and were driving down the country lane I imagined myself in a car with my mum and dad the night before my wedding. I felt as if I were somewhere I had been a million times before.
A huge sign told us we had arrived - Mar Hall, Earl of Mar Estate. This was it.
There was a long drive leading us into the hotel with tree's lining the way and little rabbits and birds fluttering around. I felt calm there. When we rounded the corner and I saw firstly, the marquee overlooking the river clyde, the river I'd grown up looking at from my bedroom window, the amazing views then finally the hotel I was in love.
We parked up and went in. Everything was perfect. Plush red carpets, calming music playing discreetly and lovely staff who directed us to some lovely cosy couches to wait on the wedding coordinator. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. The ceremony room was elegant, classic - gorgeous. The marquee was beautiful. I could imagine myself at the top table looking out at all my friends and family, imagine dancing on the dance floor with my new husband. And to top it off the wedding coordinator was one of the loveliest happiest people you could ever hope to meet in your life. This was it.
And that, is the story of how I found my venue. It was stressful, reduced me to tears and left me exhausted but I found it. And I know I found the perfect place to spend the happiest day of my life.
I never did call those other venues back to tell them I wasn't interested either...oops!
